Appalachian Cures for Common Ailments
Menstrual cramps
Mix one tablespoon of flour with one of water and swallow. Follow this with
a potion containing one ounce of corn whiskey (or any other clear spirit),
a tablespoon of sugar, and a pinch of red pepper. After these are consumed,
Take your oldest pair of shoes and place them upside down under your bed.
Arthritis
Take a brown paper bag and soak it in boiled vinegar and wrap it around the
affected joint. Now take a thin copper wire about 1 foot long and twist the center
of it around a pure silve dime (pre 1965) and wrap the resulting necklace around
your ankle. Mix soap chips in rubbing alcohol until they make a paste, then rub
the paste on the affected area. Use a heating pad.
Earaches
Get a small pebble, and about 1/2 ounce of urine (yes, urine) from the
youngest child in the house. Warm both of them by placing in an oven for 20 minutes at 200 degrees.
Blow the smoke into the affected ear. when the smoke clears, place four drops
of the warm uring into the ear. Read Ezekiel 16:6 aloud: "
Headaches
Tie an old and dirty sock around your head when you go to sleep.
Take one tablespoon of whiskey mixed with a crushed aspirin.
A preventative measure is to throw your hair out for the birds to use in their nests.
Acne
Shred up about one ounce of horseraddish and add to a half bottle of wine.
Store it for one month before use. It is ost effective when used at night, and especially under a full moon.
Boils
Take the membrane from the inside of an eggshell and apply to the boil for 10 minutes.
Do the same with a small piece of fatback (salted pork fat). Take a glass bottle and roll up
a piece of paper so it will go into the bottle. Light the paper on fire and drop it in.
When the fire goes out, waft the smoke over the boil. Finally clasp your hands behind your back and recite
the following three times: "Bozz bozzer, mozz mozzer, kozz kozzer”. The boil will come to a head, burst,
and heal.